I am an introvert. I know that lately I say this all the time and those of you who know me well probably get tired of it, but until this year I never really realized that people relate to each other differently. I saw that I didn't act the same way around other people that, for example, my sister did, but I thought it was just a fault of mine. Something I needed to fix. This past year has been a year of many revelations for me. Discovering that I was an introvert was one of them. I finally understood that it was okay for everyone to act differently. Everyone didn't have to do things the way I did them and I didn't have to do things the way everyone else did them. That said, I now find myself on the opposite end of the spectrum. This is another thing I solidified about myself this past year. I tend to slide from one extreme to the other and never really balance at that middle point. Anyway, I'm now at the opposite side. I'm beginning to become too comfortable with being an introvert. Understanding that that's how I relate to people and that some other people relate that way as well, but others don't, helped me to understand people much better. Okay, I'm using a lot of "that"s, basically all of Myers-Briggs, not just the introvert/extrovert idea, helped to me to understand people better. Yet, just because I'm a person who needs some space and would rather be approached by others, rather than jumping in the middle of a conversation, doesn't mean that I can always be that way just because I like it better. I need to comprehend that just because I now understand the way that I prefer to relate to others doesn't mean that that's the only I should or will relate to others. Just as I've said before, I can't change myself. I must go to Christ and ask Him to change my sinful, lazy heart. I talked to my Mom about this new found struggle and she recommended that I read Relationships: A Mess Worth Making. I've only read the first few pages, but I've already discovered some wonderful truths. Thank God for my amazing parents and how often they redirect this sinful heart. The main idea that hit me as I started reading this book is that: we were created for relationships. "This fact takes us back to the begining. ...God says that is not good for man to be alone. ...God created us to to be relational beings because he is a social God. God lives in community within the Trinity as Father, Son and Spirit, and he made humanity in his image." (page 9) Now my Bible teacher spent much of our class last school year talking about the parts of the Trinity and the Trinity as a whole, but I've never really thought about God as a social God. I've also never thought about the fact that: relationships are why I'm here on earth. If God put me on earth to finish high-school with a 4.0 GPA, get a scholarship to college and establish a strong career, people would be virtually unecessary. But I'm not here to to be successful according to the world's standards. First and foremost, my time and trust and faith and effort must go to my relationship with my Savior. But He put me here to make his name known so therefore my second goal should be to establish relationships with his creatures here on earth. If I never even manage to graduate high-school, but I do nuture strong relationships with those God has placed in my life, if I do become a light to those who don't know Him and an encouragement to those who do, I will have fulfilled my purpose. If I continue to push others aside in my drive to be "sucessful" and get "somewhere", I will have simply tried to meet the world's unfulfillable standard. In the end, it doesn't matter where I go, even if I never leave home, but instead how many strong relationships I have nurtured wherever God places me. Introvert or extrovert, God designed us all to be in fellowship with one another. For me, that means that sometimes I need to step out of my comfort zone and initiate those relationships, because that's why I'm here.
***note: All introverts don't also feel the need to accomplish things rather than invest in people, these are just both true with me.***