Mercyhurst

Things I like...
...the absolutely gorgeous and generally peaceful campus (every day I think I've found the new most beautiful spot on campus)
...free laundry and free printing
...unlimited access to the dining hall for super strange dance rehearsal times or peaches and Hershey's Brand ice cream at 9:30pm :)
...six blends of Starbucks coffee waiting in the dining hall for me every morning
...sitting on a bench in the marvelous park eating ice cream and discussing the perils of "balancing" being an AP high school student and a pre-professional ballet student

Things that have surprised me...
...having classes that start at 12:25 on Monday, Wednesday and Friday and not being allowed to sign up for more classes because I'm a brand new Freshmen
...going back on pointe for the first time in three months and experiencing relatively little pain
...finding out that I was placed in a ballet class two levels up and I'm taking ballet with a few sophomores and juniors and several seniors as well as four other freshman
...loving ballet class and experiencing a general lack of nervousness in a new ballet class which is very rare for me
...looking down in the middle of modern to realize that I had blood on my hand and then realizing that I scraped my foot (I have really bony feet and there is a lot of floor work in modern) and it was bleeding
...listening to the modern teacher tell my class that the combination he gave in the last 20 minutes of class was now going to be video recorded one at a time
... realizing that having a last name that begins with C means that I got to go second in this impromptu solo performance which included several skills that I could not accomplish
...knowing that, as intimidated as I was, I will learn quite a bit from this modern teacher
...hearing about soooo many clubs and organizations that I could join and trying to restrain myself

faith

"In one sense faith is the opposite of straining. It is ceasing from the effort to earn God's approval or to demonstrate your worth or merit. It is resting in the gracious promises of God to pursue us with goodness and mercy all our days. Faith is intrinsically easy. But this ease of faith assumes that our hearts are humble enough to renounce all self-reliance and self-direction and self-exaltation."
~John Piper

presuppositions

Whenever someone asks me what I hate, I respond immediately with: "presuppositions". One of my favorite quotes is by George Elliot: "Manners must be very marked indeed before the cease to be interpreted by preconceptions." Yet, I often don't realize how many boundaries I have set up for myself simply because of my own presuppositions. I took a modern class this morning and the teacher made a point of talking to us about not being afraid to look ridiculous. She told us that teachers will always look for and want to work with the person who can step outside of everything and is willing to try anything. And to be honest, those are the people I admire the most. As she was speaking, I thought of several personal heroes who are so amazing and inspiring to me because they aren't bound by social tensions or what they think others might think of them or even what they know others think of them. They aren't afraid to present themselves as exactly who they are and they also are willing to try anything they're given (in choreography and class work). They're unique because they aren't afraid to stand out from everyone else. As I enter college and the larger dance world, my greatest struggle and yet the most important thing I will do is work to break down the preconceptions I set up have set up for myself, often unknowingly. As long as I dance (and live) in fear of what everyone else is thinking, I will never be free to reach my potential as an artist or to fully enjoy my art.

To be a college dancer...

To be a college dancer means finding your center of balance and focusing the energy within your body at 9:30 in the morning.

To be a college dancer means you will not really miss home for another four to six weeks because you just feel like you're at another summer intensive.

To be a college dancers means that you all like pizza, but not one will touch it until someone else does.

To be a college dancer means that you all watch a football game and get excited when you actually understand what's going on for a few seconds.

To be a college dancer means no one recognizes you with your hair down because it's been in a ballet bun every day.

To be a college dancer means that you know how to get from your dorms to the dance studio and that's about it.

To be a college dancer means that you are simultaneously ecstatic and terrified about the fact that your dance classes are now your school classes.

hello

Well my parents and I drove the 7 hours to Erie today :)

The van before... 

...and after...

...energy for the day...

...driving through the mountains...

...with gorgeous clouds (which always make me think of Lady Kathryne)...

...and, finally, watching the sunset over Lake Erie...

...yes, today was marvelous :) 

goodbye

Today is my last day in the state of Maryland. Tomorrow I leave for Erie, PA. This week has been very hard. Every person I've seen has looked at me with tears in their eyes (or falling down their face) and very softly said: "goodbye". When you have lived in the same state since you were two, when you have attended the same church since you were two, when you have home-schooled from pre-school through tenth grade and when you have attended a very small private school for the last two years of school, this repeated experience is truly heart wrenching. Each one of these people has known me very personally and has had a very strong impact upon my life on a very frequent (as in: multiple times per week) basis. Living in a close-knit family of seven also means that I have always done everything with my family. We eat most of our meals together. I usually help at least two people get dressed in the morning (in matching clothes). We all go to each other sports games (or ballet performances). We take all of our trips as a family. I also have a very personal relationship with each of my siblings. Not being able to see and interact with each one of them on a daily basis is going to very hard. In short, going to college is going to change my life completely. For the first time in my life I will only have to tend to myself and for the first time in my life I will be living on my own and I will be in charge of myself. I'm about to embark on a very new adventure and I'm excited to see all the new things that the Lord will be teaching me and that he will be teaching my friends and family in this new season of our lives.

forever

So it's been quite a while...spending the summer without a lap top was a stressful and frustrating growing experience for me...anyway, finally on to another blog post...

"We will be in love forever..."
 This is a line from Sleeping Beauty's love song (I've been babysitting all summer) and it's echoed everywhere. There is something enchantingly beautiful about an eternal love. We long for it, we dream of it, we fantasize about it. It seems enchanting because it seems a bit impossible, something for only our dreams and fantasies. We are afraid to speak of it because we are afraid we will realize how absurd we sound and we will just be in need of another reality check. We know we can never love perfectly or eternally because we are corrupted by sin. We know we cannot expect it out of any other person for the very same reason. However, we need to look further still. Our greatest love cannot be found on earth. The only love that is perfect in every way is a love we cannot possibly return, but with which we can forever live in fellowship. The love we truly long for isn't anything like Prince Philip. He was created in the image of this love, but he pales in comparison. Our hearts, our inner longings, will only truly be satisfied with the perfect, eternal love of Christ.