With each day l have found more and more satisfaction in Jesus, the more the people around me grow discontent. They question, “Is she afraid of being hurt?” “Does she even have desires or cravings for love?” And the latest, “Is she a lesbian?”
When it comes to dating and relationships, very few people grasp the fact that I am diffidently waiting. My sister has been trying (and very unsuccessfully) to match me up with any single male acquaintance she knows. I have had suggestions so incomparable, I could only snicker at the proposal. If she invites me to a night out now, l often have to evil glare at her, raise my eyebrows and ask, “What’s the catch? Or rather, who’?’
Humour aside. I truly believe that the Lord has put me in this beautiful season to focus on Him, and Him alone. He is teaching me what true love is honestly all about, and I can tell you that it is definitely not found in a moment‘s sultry kiss shared between two lovers. I can tell you that it goes beyond hormonal urges, or any desire spurred out of lust. Possibly the greatest lessons I have had to learn is that love goes beyond any emotion, or heated feeling.
Standards are a dying beauty in this world. It’s heartbreaking, and it’s worth tears of anguish over. Yet, this is what sets apart a woman eager to serve her King. Her standards. Her modesty. Her unwillingness to pursue the male, even if it seems like she is missing out on “great” catches.
Standards are what He has been building since I handed my life story over for Him to write. My sister‘s casual suggestions for suitors can be lovely men, but they aren‘t exactly what I want. In fact, they are worlds apart, simply because they miss the mark on the highest standard I have.
See, ever since He has been showing me what love is about, the more I have been falling drastically in love with Him. His love is so selfless, and radically different to the world’s views on such a notion. It’s hard to compete with. His love is pure, and filled with tenderness. It goes beyond emotional passion, and yet, it is the most passionate I have ever experienced. It’s transformed my very desire of what I want in a man; A future spouse. So what do I want?
I want a man that has his heart set on one thing; To most ardently desire to be a reflection of Jesus. I want him to care about little else. I don’t even want to be a close second in his heart, for the love I want him to have for our King will be endless. He will scream masculinity. He will know his place as a man. Simply put, I want a man with the courage to love. No hesitation. No uncertainty of where his feelings for me lie, for they lie at the foot of the Cross.
If this means I never encounter such a man, and I remain this mortal life forever single, then let it be so. Singleness is such a beautiful He gives some of us, despite what the secular and even Christian world says. Jesus is my portion, and He is revealing Himself to me more and more on this journey I walk. He is silencing my cravings. He is becoming more than enough. His love could quench a lifetime of fulfillment, and beyond. My standards for a man are high...
But I will not settle for anything less.
Breathtaking, right? When my mom first shared with me years ago that a marriage is a picture of Christ and the church, I honestly thought it was the craziest thing that I had ever heard. However, Christ has continued to shape my understanding and I now can't think of anything more beautiful. Christ-like love is the most pure love and a Christ-centered relationship is the most pure kind relationship simply because it's not about us. It's about Him.
